Happy Valentine’s Day!!

In the end, I think we won’t wish for anything to be different except maybe “the how.” Don’t misunderstand, I don’t mean the “how much,” either. We can’t take anything with us—we are all renters here. “The how” I’m talking about is “the how we treated the ones who mattered to us”—especially when it mattered—that how. Valentine’s Day is an easy day to go out and be kind and thoughtful to our loved ones because we’ve engineered it that way. But “the how” that will really matter to us someday, is the how we treated people when it wasn’t easy and they weren’t easy.…

The Power of Acceptance

The greatest gift we are given as part of our universal design is the ability to accept the world and the people in it regardless of who they are and what they’re doing. If you find yourself upset and you feel that you need to change or control someone else’s behavior, then know this: your ability to accept them as they are is the only thing that you can change. What we discover when we stop trying to change others is the true and powerful nature of self—our compassionate self. When we awaken this compassionate state through acceptance, we understand that the unique qualities…

The Quickest Way Home: Into the Darkness

I am a dark worker. People laugh and think I’m joking; they usually correct me and say, “Don’t you mean light worker?” And then I tell them, “No, dark worker.” I don’t see people when they are feeling light or happy. I work with people when things are dark and muddy and terrifying. These are the bravest people I know, by the way. They have the courage to walk deeper into the darkness with a complete stranger. They are prepared to poke around into their cold cup of rancid emotions, say things they’ve never said aloud, and figure their lives…

No, I’m Not Going….

In the category of stupid things I did this week, I just got back from the fancy sneaker store to buy running shoes because I accidentally signed up for a 10 mile race in March. With my New Year’s resolution mantra taped to my computer, “forward, kinder, older, and bolder,” I was working on the bold part. I first decided that 5k sounded bold. It would be an awesome way to welcome in spring—until I realized 5 kilometers is just a weensy bit over three miles. I walk more than that every day, so I decided that was not bold enough. Instead, I…

Forward, Kinder, Older and Bolder

Happy New Year (a little bit late)! If you saw my Facebook page last week you know I cut my hair on December 30 as part of a New Year’s resolution I made to myself. Super-short. This was “action item number one” of a broader resolution for myself this year. My actual resolution was:  be me, accept me, take care of me. Cutting off the colored hair was Step One in my plan. No games, minimal use of chemicals. I have a new mantra, too: Forward, kinder, older and bolder. Let’s just say it’s already been interesting. Along with the…

Are You Repressed and Don’t Realize It?

I refer to the first 35 years of my life as “the Great Repression.” I suffered greatly because the Readers Digest condensed version of me showed up in all my relationships. I remember a moment when I was 7, when my best friend announced her favorite color was pink and I told her, “Mine too,” because I wanted her to like me. Truthfully, I didn’t know my favorite color, so this was easy—it didn’t feel like a fib. I was pleasing people early, yet the people-pleasing wasn’t what bothers me in this story. What’s more disturbing to me now is the idea that a 7-year-old girl didn’t know her…

Still Upset About Hilliary? Let’s Discuss Moral Outrage

The hardest thing I had to learn on the road to enlightenment is that awareness shouldn’t suck. As I practiced awareness, I witnessed people’s behaviors without truly understanding them, and that’s when I got mad, and it felt awful. It went something like, “Oh, that awful mom just shamed her child in public. Wow! People are awful. Poor kid.” Then I would try to understand and calm myself down by ramping up moral outrage and spewing some of that around. “I wish people would get their lives together before they have children. Who does this kind of thing? One day I’m going to start a…