The greatest gift we are given as part of our universal design is the ability to accept the world and the people in it regardless of who they are and what they’re doing. If you find yourself upset and you feel that you need to change or control someone else’s behavior, then know this: your ability to accept them as they are is the only thing that you can change.
What we discover when we stop trying to change others is the true and powerful nature of self—our compassionate self. When we awaken this compassionate state through acceptance, we understand that the unique qualities of others—their differences—are a gift to us, and their gift to the universe. Your unique qualities, your “differences,” are the gift to us as well. Our authentic nature understands this and does not seek to hurt others for being “different.”
When we are angry and terrified at the thoughts and actions of others, this only means we are not acting authentically and that we are not in touch with our true compassionate nature.
Even when people are acting horrifically, it does not excuse us to retaliate in kind. We may need to take action, and the best answers for both parties will be found in the compassionate state. It we act in anger, we will be given those lessons right back to us; we will learn, in essence, the same thing. We will be trapped in angry karmic cycles.
When I act in ego, it will be returned to me, simply as a lesson to show me who I am to the world.
We begin awakening when we are ready to quit the treacherous karmic circles of misunderstanding and hate. Today is a fruitful time for learning this stuff, because we cannot understand why the world looks the way it does.
Here are the two things you can practice to awaken your compassionate self instead of acting in pain:
- When someone’s “terrible” behavior is driving you crazy, get safe and ask yourself what things that person is doing that are so painful to see. Be specific. Go deeper than you normally might.
- Then ask yourself, “How is this to me too?” (In other words, practice empathy.) When someone’s behavior invokes a painful mind-body response in you, then you can be sure that this is a lesson about things you don’t want to see in yourself. (Now you know why I’m not popular at parties.) This is the universe’s mirroring effect that allows us to awaken through witnessing others to learn about ourselves. When we refuse to heed it, the pain of those lessons becomes ever stronger as a benevolent gift of experiences that re-awaken us to our true nature—our compassionate self.
We are simply not designed to live in anger.
The pain we experience has purpose, and learning about it, the most important work we do. Our pain is designed ultimately to awaken us to our own karma so that we can learn how to accept the things we secretly hate in ourselves. Many times these things we hate in ourselves turn out to be our gifts—these “differences” we discover in ourselves are important gifts to all of us. See you next week!